This text explored gay male carers experience of caring for their part-ner, brother or friend who had HIV/AIDS. Through using pheno-menological methodology (van Manen, 1990), the day-to-day caring experiences were uncovered. The data gathered was then analysed through a nursing lens, with the concept of stigma as an anchoring point. The dual stigmas of homophobia and AIDS phobia impacted on the daily lives of these men as they cared for their loved one. The research identified six themes. These were: 1) the relationship; 2) coping with HIV and AIDS; 3) the corporal impact of HIV/AIDS; 4) experiences of carers including the absence of others; 5) living daily with the virus demands of people living with HIV/AIDS (PLWHA); and 6) saying goodbye, while keeping the memory alive. The carers struggled with not only the demands of day-to-day care, but also with non-acceptance from family, both of the nature of the relationship with their partner and of their homosexuality. Family members were forced, often with great difficulty, to acknowledge the close commit-ment the men had to each other.