This book is a story about a person who was a mess inside, who did not know how to live the Christian life. He eventually received a promise from God to be broken into freedom, and that is where the adventure started: pain, disorientation, struggles, confusion, and gutted within became his lot for many years. He was put on medication, only to have to wait decades to start feeling normal again. Because of this, He learned how to practice the Christian basics: of confession, repentance in prayer, renewal of the mind and growing in dependence on Jesus. This helped him to grow in the practice of the virtues of faith, hope, love and humility. His experience is an example of the Dark Night as described by Saint John of the Cross. This book chronicles my journey into darkness and how I navigated it out into the light. I eventually landed up in a hospital while in the darkness. There, the doctors tried to administer different medications to see what would work. Unfortunately the doctors chose a medication that worked but really slowly. Years later I would relapse. I was then put on the correct medication and began to make up lost ground like never before. I won't trade those lost years on the wrong medication for anything. Yes it was hard, difficult, painful and the best place to renew my mind and eventually heal my heart. I would learn how to repent with God's help and mature in love.