Welcome to the mind, to the world of Fake Steve Jobs. Fake Steve the counterintuitive management guru: Obviously we cant literally put our employees lives at risk. But we have to make them feel that way. Fake Steve the political hobnobber: I can see why they keep Nancy Pelosi under wraps. Wacky as a dime watch. Fake Steve quoting friend/musician/philosopher Bono on road etiquette: Tink about dat next toim yer cuttin off some bloke and you dont know who it is, right? Could be Jay-sus. Or Boutros Boutros-Ghali or sumfin. And on, yes, himself: Geniuses have feelings, too. In the tradition of Thank You for Smoking and in the spirit of The Onion, Options is a novelistic sendup and takedown of Silicon Valley, Hollywood, and Washington, D. C. , as viewed by a central character who exists, to his immense self-satisfaction, at the crossroads of all three worlds: Its like in one of those movies where a guy realizes hes got telekinetic powers and its just too bad if he doesnt want them, hes got them. Likewise, I have this gift. Its who I am.