Hold everything! Wait a Minute, O Jackrabbit! This Book is what you and every Intelligent Person on this Good Earth has been Patiently Waiting for: beCause it Reveals the Best Solutions for our Massive Problems! Indeed, we are not talking about Medieval, Out-of-Date Castles, nor run-down Fortresses; but, we are talking about MODERN, Up-to-Date GUARANTEED SOLUTIONS! For Example, can you Imagine Living in a Beautiful World, which has ZERO Pollution, ZERO Unemployment, ZERO Homelessness, ZERO Vehicular Accidents, ZERO Illegal Immigration, ZERO Border Guards, ZERO Policemen, ZERO Terrorists, ZERO Unhealthy, Unhappy People, and ZERO TAXES? Well, Amazon.com Offers a ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR REWARD to anyone on this Good Earth, who can Prove by Means of Reasons and Logic that our Selected KING has not Discovered the BEST Solutions for all such Problems ― including the Elimination of ALL DEBTS! Yes, it Sounds Unbelievable, huh? Well, that was what we used to Think, also; but, no more! WHY? ― beCause this Inspired Book is LOADED with Genuine PROOFS! And you will be Wise to Study it for yourself, O Humble Man of Greater Faith: beCause the Unbelievers are in for one "Hell of a Shock," as the Trumpeter in the Little White Outhouse might say to the Good Leader of North Korea, who will also be Wishing to his Atheist God that he had Thot of it FIRST! But, behold, you only need to Study the Drawings on the Front Cover, to Visualize what a Great Revelation of Provable Truths can be Found within this "One-of-a-Kingly-Kind of Books," which is chuck-full of all Kinds of "Goodies," you might say, including "Royal Swanky Buffets," which will make you "Rethink" the Whole Situation, Worldwide! Yes, we are Talking about a GREAT Revolution, O Lady Doubtfulness! Therefore, be Careful how you go Walking about in your Sleep, Tonight, in the Darkness of Ignorance, without even Discovering the Inspired Words of the Master Farmer, himself! Yes, you must Read Chapter 11, which is like the Finest of Pure Gold on the Harp of King David, himself! Indeed, he too will be Singing and Dancing in the Streets with Great Tears of JOY, for the Great Enlightenments that can be Discovered within this Inspiring Book! Therefore, even though you People are now Walking through the Valley of the Shadow of DEATH, in FEAR of a Great ATOMIC NIGHTMARE, take Heart, O Honest Children of the Great King: beCause there is Good HOPE that we can ALL Escape; but, only by the Skins of our Teeths, you might say: beCause that Old Lady Doubtfulness is still Lingering about in the Darkness of our Ignorance!
