Originally conceived as a Portuguese-English phrase book, this literary curiosity was written by an author who, remarkably, spoke no English. With the help of a pair of dictionaries, Pedro Carolino translated a series of expressions from his native Portuguese into French and from French into English. The result is a volume of unintentional hilarity, praised by Mark Twain in his appreciative Introduction for its "miraculous stupidities." Imagine the Portuguese traveller, with this book in hand, offering grooming tips ("Dress your hairs"), making polite dinner conversation ("Like you the soup?"), and inviting an acquaintance to take a walk ("Let us go to respire the air"). Forty-three dialogues provide additional mirth: How is that gentilman who you did speak by and by? Is a German. I did think him Englishman. He is of the Saxony side. He speak the french very well. Tough he is German, he speak so much well italyan, french, spanish, and english, that among the Italyans, they believe him Italyan, he speak the frenche as the Frenches himselves. The Spanishesmen believe him Spanishing, and the Englishes, Englishman. It is difficult to enjoy well so much several languages. AUTHOR: English as She Is Spoke is the only published work by Pedro Carolino, and it is confidently presumed that he did not actually speak English. He appears to have attempted to enhance the appeal of his book by appending the name of famous language scholar Jose da Fonseca.