"From his poetry, we know Jay's addiction was all-consuming, and he was well aware that it could take his life. In fact, he wrote of his desire to finally bring an end to his pain by dying the way he had lived-as a drug addict. How painful is it for a parent to read that all their beloved son yearned for was an end to his own life? You can only imagine unless you have watched someone you love commit a slow suicide for 13 years. Only God can explain why one addict survives while another does not, but as parents, we struggle daily with feelings of guilt and shame that we could not save our son from his addictions..." Jay Koch struggled with drug addiction for more than a dozen years until he finally died from an overdose at the age of 30. Like every other drug addict, his life and death brought sadness and sorrow to many other lives as well. One of the most significant concerns faced by loved ones is trying to understand. After Jay died, his parents discovered a journal he kept that detailed his thoughts and feelings. This collection of poems is a powerful and painful glimpse into the life of a young man trapped in a situation. As you read these poems, you will better understand why addiction can hold such a grip. You will walk with Jay through times of utter depression and resignation to failure as well as times of hope and progress. The words are filled with pain and raw emotion. These poems are published with the hope that they will provide encouragement to those striving to overcome addiction and understanding to loved ones walking with them on the difficult journey.