Many people have wondered about that remote, mist-shrouded, mysterious island called Britain floating in the Atlantic somewhere near Europe. The author rips the veil off the "Crumpet Kingdom" and exposes the authoritarian monarchy, the lethal stockpile of sarcasm and piss taking along with the scandalous history and gibberish language of the so-called United Kingdom. Being American, the author possesses the objectivity and innate intelligence to portray Britain in its true light, a green and pleasant land dotted with dark satanic mills, full of homeless waifs, witless nobs and clueless politicians. He also reminds the reader of Britain's imperialistic colonial empire with chapters on the pathetic former dependencies of America and Canada. And, as a bonus, he heads across the channel for an expose on the Europeans in the midst of their power-mad attempt to revive the Roman Empire.This book contains the shocking answers to the following most asked questions: What will happen if you give the Queen a wedgie?What language Do the English speak?How do you become posh?Which is more dreadful, Britain's history or culture? Why is Trump so popular in Britain?Why did the Romans scamper out of Britain?Why do Brits drive on the wrong side of the road?Are Brits cold in demeanor?Is British humour outlawed in other countries?Are those other places in Britain counties, countries or fiefdoms?What do the British think of Americans?What do Americans think of the British?How does America deal with Canadian illegals?What are the most shocking things about Europe?