Defying old age and retirement, our cyclist embarks on a solo cycle trip to the remotest parts of Scotland. This wild ride invites the reader to join in, couch cycling through the oft times hilarious interactions with Western Scotland and the Scots. The camping stove starts conflagrations. Japanese tourists are confronted with raw animal sex. Ferry trips are life threatening, or gastronomically challenging including the culturally conflicted Vegetarian Haggis Nachos. A Hollywood "A" list celebrity makes a cameo appearance on a small wind-swept island. Scottish culture flourishes, in the form of a fifteen year old Hong Kong resident. Death by road kill, starvation, and water borne disease lurk everywhere. Aside from the misadventures are discoveries about the richness of Scotland and its history. The oldest mountains on earth provided the foundation of modern geology. Neolithic peoples populated the landscape in a civilised, spiritual way millennia ago, gifting us with tangible places and fascinating things. An exploration of Scotland's tempestuous and troubling social history unexpectedly explains the warm, welcoming, and sometimes inebriated modern Scot. This history also explains why Scottish cuisine is an oxymoron and the central role of haggis. From the seat of a bicycle (while missing the rain, the wind, and the cold), ride along and discover what is fun, quirky, and captivating about Western Scotland and the Isles.