For Sid Tillsley, the end is near... When Sid Tillsley, the most prolific and lethal vampire hunter the world has ever known, cancels his subscription to "Tits" magazine, Middlesbrough locals know that something isn't right in the world. And that's an understatement... The vampire nation is ready to launch an assault on society. The Coalition, a council of vampires and humans whose purpose is to hide the existence of the creatures of the night, are almost powerless to stop them. They have one hope, not a person, but a molecule: Haemo, a drug that suppresses the vampire's need to feed. If Haemo doesn't work and the vampires take to the streets, life will never be the same again, and a new barbaric, violent age will devour mankind. Unfortunately, Sid cannot be called upon, for Sid has landed himself a legitimate job, is paying taxes, has stopped smoking and drinking, and hasn't had a kebab in over a month! But why? How? What could possibly change a Northern man so set in his ways? Vampires could never be so cruel. Such devilry, such wickedness, can only be the work of...womenfolk. ""Not even the most teeth-sharpened vampire aficionado will be able to guess how this one ends. I commend this book to all readers of both humour and vampire genres. Enjoy."" -Geoff Nelder, Cafe Doom 2nd Edition - the series has been revised and rewritten as of Sept 2014"