**THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER ** 'Funny and frank, a chance to spend time with a brave and big-hearted woman who's grown up to be not so mean, after all' JENNIFER LARUE, WASHINGTON POST 'Grabs you by the collar and says listen to all that I have to say: about love, pain, motherhood, illness, celebrity and the tidal ferocity that pours through all our lives. Read it and be caught in the voice of one of our luminous stars' ESME WEIJUN WANG The first story Selma Blair Beitner ever heard about herself is that she was a mean, mean baby. Although Selma went on to become a celebrated Hollywood actress and model, she could never quite shake the periods of darkness that overtook her, the certainty that there was a great mystery at the heart of her life. Over the course of this beautiful and, at times, shocking memoir, Selma lays bare her addiction to alcohol, her devotion to her brilliant and complicated mother, and the moments she flirted with death. There is violence, love, true friendship, the gift of motherhood and, finally, the simultaneous devastation and surprising salvation of a multiple sclerosis diagnosis. 'A fascinating exploration about the power of prophecy, of labels, and of one woman's determination to defy them all. Blair is a rebel, an artist, and it turns out: a writer' GLENNON DOYLE 'I laughed out loud more than I cried' FRANCES RYAN, GUARDIAN