The Alternative Commentary Collective Almanack

A beyond-the-boundaries guide to an outstanding decade of New Zealand sporting conquest, catastrophe and commentary as seen through the eyes of the Alternative Commentary Collective.

Lean into the unhinged world of The Alternative Commentary Collective, where a decade of New Zealand sporting conquest and catastrophe is captured and celebrated in irreverent ACC style.

From their ‘dangerously sexual’ beginnings in an abandoned mobile P-lab to the media colossus that bestrides Aotearoa today, here is the ACC in full colour, and in their own, inimitable words.

Relive the ecstasy of the 2021 World Test Championship Final, the heartbreak of rugby shockers and cricket calamities, and the countless examples of punishing and heroic behaviour off the field- The Cake Tin helicopter landing. Manginagate. The stadium bans. Amsterdam. The Beige Brigade. More content about Mike Lane’s…equipment… than you could ever need. The nicknames. The scores and stats. The animal facts. The great New Zealanders. And a catalogue of practical guidance on everything from streaking and smuggling booze to skinning cats and penning the perfect parody song.

Join the team behind the scenes as they desecrate iconic moments, celebrate unfortunate faux pas and mercilessly roast sporting legends-all with their trademark wit and banter.

Whether you are an ACC lifer or a first-time texter to 0221 CURLY 6, this book promises a journey into the bowels of New Zealand sport – by the fans and for the fans. Strap in for a seditious sortie filled with fear, loathing and the frequent absurdity that defines the Alternative Commentary Collective.

You have been warned . . .

Written by Mike Lane and Matt Heath with Dylan Cleaver, plus contributions and guest appearances from all your ACC favourites, past and present, including Jeremy Wells, Ben Hurley, Jason Hoyte, Leigh Hart, James McOnie, Chris Key, Scotty J Stevenson, Lee Baker, Mike Minogue, Dai Henwood, Manaia Stewart, Paul Ford – and more.

“It’s actually quite good.” – Daniel Vettori

“‘Of all the innovations in cricket over the past decade, by far the worst has been the inexorable rise of the Alternative Commentary Collective.” – Bryn Waddell

“I’d like to distance myself as far away as possible from the contents of this book.” – Jason Hoyte

Author Biography

What began in 2013 as an alternative commentary for the 2013/14 summer of cricket, The Alternative Commentary Collective (ACC) is now a multi-sport, multi-platform media behemoth, gathering a group of broadcasters, comedians and entertainers who love sport and bring a fresh, and often controversial, element to sports coverage. Led by Mike Lane and Jeremy Wells, and part of the New Zealand Media and Entertainment stable, The ACC is now arguably the biggest (and most complained-about) sports entertainment brand in New Zealand.