Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook

When your life seems perfect to others, but you’re slowly and silently falling apart—this workbook will help you recognize and challenge the ten traits of destructive perfectionism that mask and drive your hidden depression.

If you were raised to believe that expressing struggle is a sign of weakness, or if being emotionally transparent has always made you feel unsafe, then you may have protected yourself by creating a perfect-looking life—a life where you appear to be successful, engaged, and always there for others. The problem? What began as protection is now its own prison. You’re filled with self-criticism and shame, and you can’t allow yourself to express fear, anger, loss, or grief. You recognize something is wrong, but you’re not sure what exactly—only that you feel trapped and alone. If this sounds like you, you may have perfectly hidden depression (PHD).

With this evidence-based workbook, you’ll learn to challenge the ten traits of perfectionism that act to mask your depression, release feelings of shame, overcome the need to rigidly control your emotions, and cultivate true self-acceptance. You’ll also find tangible tips for quieting that critical and rule-bound inner voice, and powerful strategies for coping with difficult feelings. Most importantly, you’ll discover that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, but a sign of your strong determination to heal.

This workbook will help you:

Understand what created the need for your perfectionism
Identify destructive beliefs and challenge their usefulness in the present
Begin to express and honor your range of feelings
Build meaningful connections

If you’re ready to stop hiding and start healing, this workbook will guide you—every imperfect step of the way.

Author Biography

Margaret Robinson Rutherford, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice with more than thirty years of experience treating individuals and couples for depression, anxiety, and relationship issues. Her 2023 TEDx Talk on “How to Recognize Perfectly Hidden Depression,” where she challenges the mental health profession to recognize this overlooked and misunderstood presentation of depression, has received almost two million views. Her first book, Perfectly Hidden Depression, has reached a wide national and international audience. She offers her compassionate and commonsense therapeutic style to the public through her popular blog and podcast—The SelfWork Podcast—with the goal of making psychological treatment more accessible and approachable.