Sold by Mighty Ape
Current status: Recently divorced. Recently deceased. Recently discovered vampirism requires forms in triplicate.
Woke up dead. Rather inconvenient – and with no paperwork, I’m now an illegal vampire who can’t hug my children without wanting to eat them.
The gothic vampire matriarch who insists on keeping me in her castle finds everything deliciously dramatic. She swears I need a supernatural guardian or my powers might detonate. After my divorce, the last thing I want is to be bound to anyone.
My new job at a supernatural law firm seemed like a step in the right direction… until a magical artifact went missing and everyone started pointing fangs. Now I’m hunting for the Twilight Concordat with a purple-haired mage whose idea of fun is “light breaking and entering.” Meanwhile, Clara Blackwood, the Council’s Chief Investigator, looks at me like I’m a puzzle she can’t quite solve. I can’t decide if that makes her my worst enemy or something infinitely more dangerous.
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Your warranty will cover any manufacturing defects which, if existing, will present themselves within this warranty period.
Your warranty will not cover normal wear and tear, faults caused by misuse, and accidents which cause damage or theft caused after delivery. Using the product in a way it is not designed for will void your warranty.
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