Alright, Dear Lord, Heal Me Your Way

I started having mental problems at the age of eighteen, and now I am sixty-nine years old. I had to leave my job because of mental problems. I sought help from a psychiatrist, who told me he did not see anything wrong with me after taking some psychiatric tests. I knew, however, that something was wrong with me mentally. Things got worse, and I began to experience depression as a result of the psychiatric problems.

I became a Christian, and things got worse instead of better. Eventually, I stopped going to church and just stayed home to myself. I began to isolate myself from society. Ultimately, I ended up in a mental health treatment center. I was put on medications, and I became very deceived about taking my meds. I would only take my medications as I chose to, and not as my doctor prescribed. I ended up going to five or six mental health facilities, all because I did things my stubborn way, for years.

Finally, I came to the conclusion that doing things my way was not working out, after many years of denial and foolishness. Today, after many years of mental wellness, I can honestly say I have a mental illness, but my mental illness does not have me, giving all the glory to God. I finally asked God to heal me His way, and He did just that, and I praise Him with gratitude. Hallelujah!