Let me introduce you to the Smythe household ...there's me, Samantha, my husband John the Second,and our two children Bennie and Jamie. And then there's my eldest son Edward from my first marriage. I love my family to bits but even I stagger a bit when I see the mess they create. Bennie, who is two, can't seem to use a potty. Jamie, only eight months, eats nothing but butternut squash and Edward spends most of his time watching Scooby Doo and drawing pictures on his willy. Every now and then I lose my cool and start shouting like a mad woman and John has to take me upstairs and calm me down. But, despite my worry that a non-nuclear family may never be a 'real' family, everything was fine until last summer when it got a whole lot more complicated. My ex-husband John the First turned up at our house for the first time in five years. My sister's marriage broke up and my best friend Dougie did nothing but drink wine and moan about this life. Edward, of course, thought it was marvellous that he had two dads living with him. I on-the-other-hand, began to feel I was slowly disappearing out of sight. Suddenly our chaotic but loving home was teetering on the verge of collapse.