The Gaffta Awards is a book about football's most enduring characters. You know who we mean - the game's talking heads, the selfless men who entertain us as royally from behind the microphone as their more athletic comrades do on the pitch. Despite all the media attention football receives, no one has seen fit to devise an awards system for the verbal geniuses of the modern game. Until now.This is the definitive study of 'guff', our umbrella term for all the gaffes, faux pas and general foolishness so prevalent in football today. Thrill as Uncle Bobby Robson, King Kev and Gordon Strachan battle it out for the Best Gaffer gong. While you're at it, cleanse your soul by taking a lesson or two from the Word of Hod. In the Best Commentator category, sheepskin statto Motty challenges for glory against Beeb stablemate Barry Davies, as well as ITV big-hitters Clive Tyldesley (Manchester United's number one fan) and the sadly departed Brian Moore. Despite his fall from grace, Big Ron's sterling work developing Ronglish - the long-acknowledged official language of the commentary box - sees him in with a real chance in the Best Supporting Commentator category. That said, excitable newcomer C
Larry Ryan is the editor of dangerhere.com, a football website dedicated to recording the wit and wisdom of Big Ron, Motty, King Kev, Uncle Bobby and the rest of football's great guff merchants. Larry now lives in Dublin, where he wears nothing but sheepskin and lives on a diet of champagne and cigars.