The Boyfriend List was a homework assignment for my mental health. Doctor Z, my shrink, told me to write down all the boyfriends, kind-of boyfriends, almost-boyfriends, rumoured boyfriends and wished-he-were boyfriends I've ever had. Plus, she recommended I take up knitting. In the same ten days I- lost my boyfriend (boy #13); lost my best friend; lost all my other friends; learned gory details about my now-ex boyfriend's sexual adventures; did something shockingly advanced with boy #15; did something suspicious with boy #10; had an argument with boy #14; drank my first beer; got caught by my mom; lost a lacrosse game; failed a maths test; became a leper and became a famous slut. Enough to give anyone panic attacks, right? I was so overwhelmed by the horror of the whole debacle that I had to skip school for a day to read mystery novels, cry and eat spearmint jelly candies.
E. Lockhart has had nine official boyfriends, if you count the boy who asked her to go out with him at a seventh-grade dance and then basically never talked to her again. In a drawer somewhere, she's got a list of every boy she ever kissed. She has never been on a sports teams of any kind and got excused from gym class by going to ballet lessons. She has a tattoo, cuts her own hair, and has worn the same perfume since high school (Kiehl's Chinese Flowers). In her office are Betty and Veronica dolls, a photo of a particularly fat bulldog, an official business card from 'Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Detective' and the 1920s flapper dress she wore to the prom.