Beware! Most of these assumptions are based on memories of blissful weekends spent gorging cream teas in front of a blazing log fire. You know that Aga you coveted? It will soon reveal itself to be a living, breathing devil-spawn waging a personal vendetta against you. And that fantasy about becoming a self-sufficient, trug-toting son of the soil? If you've got the patience to make it through to the end of the baffling seed packet instructions, you'll be doing well. As for those children - do they spend all their time outside fishing with jam-jars on string? Do they hell; they're slumped indoors watching telly, cursing the day they were wrenched away from their friends in town
Judy Rumbold was born in 1960. She has written for the Sunday Times, Evening Standard, Mail on Sunday, Observer and Guardian, and is currently a columnist for the Sunday Telegraph. Six years ago, she moved from London to Suffolk, where she lives with her husband and two children.