At the Ketterick Arts Festival, the apprentice is just about the only fella that is chaste, know what I mean (wink wink nudge nudge)' Ah, the pleasures of smutty innuendo, and no one relishes them more than Des Capper, a font of dubious gossip and unwanted advice. To the horror of the actors and singers performing at the Festival, Des has been promoted to landlord of the Saracen's Head, the Elizabethan inn that is at the Festival's heart. And when Des toddles off to meet his maker'courtesy of someone's helpful shove'only his wretched wife can summon up a tear. Readers, meanwhile, will have trouble containing their snickers at the wickedly witty characterizations.