Starved for the whole truth, man?

Take a bite out of this bitsy but beefy package, brimming with morsels of wit, wisdom and worldly knowledge brought to you by the one and only Bartholomew J.* Simpson. Get the hard–knocks facts of life from the guy who's seen it all, heard it all, done it all and denies it all...

How to handle everything from school, family life and economic catastrophes to what to name (and not name) a new pet. School - includes potato chips in the shape of celebrities (Richard Nixon is the biggest crowd-pleaser), Granny's dentures and the neighbour's garbage, to name a few; parents - Barts blows the lid clean off dubious but durable parental points such as, "You'll understand when you get older" and the ever-popular "If you cross your eyes they'll stay that way"; religion - stump the Sunday school teacher with annoying theological questions that examine such controversial faith issues as whether or not people get stuck wearing the clothes they were buried in for eternity once they are in heaven. 

Bart Simpson shares his wacky observations on work, romance, health and fitness and manners; offers helpful tips on torturing your siblings without telltale signs and staying up past bedtime; and shows the reader how to befuddle parents and friends by making up a secret language. 

* (The "J" stands for "Jo–Jo"...)